Anne Waldman: Jack Kerouac Dream

He's talking speedily about the evil of the feminine but he likes it. O bitter tones of the demon feminine. He's in a repressed New England winter room, but oddly it's like the old whorehouse in Eldora with bats inside the walls. There's peeling wallpaper of gold fleur-de-lys pattern on green on the far side. And his "coat of arms," or rather "his mother's arm coat (arm chair?)" is close by. It looks like a shrunken deer's head, size of a rabbit's foot with French letters crudely scrawled on a wooden plaque beneath, "est peur" (translates "is fear" but cognate to, or sounds like, "espoir"—hope). He's shivering in an old camel's hair coat, smoking—Chesterfields? Old Golds?—in front of a raging fire. He's wanting to "hunt and gather," he says, but it's too cold. Where can we go to forage now that "all the skies are broken"? I am thinking if only I were born earlier I could love him, take care of him. Close to his face now, I see its raging corpuscles in the dancing firelight. Intricate aborigine designs tattooed on a remarkably pristine visage. "It's a drift, flesh and bone, mortification, deadpan, life's a raked field," he mumbles. I'm part of a Buddhist plot to get him to be reborn to "liberate all sentient beings." I'm inviting him to give a reading at The Academy of the Meticulous Future. But what may I offer? "I tried calling your phone was dead was why I came." "Ummm." He's off somewhere else, his eyes moist and glassy.