Edward Sanders: Rapture Ku´s
30. April 2008 17:12
1.
The chorus of Angels singing
Space-Time splits apart
No more peeling potatoes
2.
Date palms, camels,
seventy-two virgins . . .
hey ya'all, which heaven is this?
3.
Christ appears in a rainbow
How do I know for sure
It’s not a Chinese Sky-Gram?
4.
Git yer .30-.30, Purvis —
some critter with seven heads
just et the dawg . . .
5.
Yodeling in the shower
Didn’t hear the Angels
“Too bad, Dad, so sad.”
6.
Dripping with formaldehyde,
the jar-free, innocent foetuses
floating skyward . . .
7.
Jesus in the sky
10 seconds to convert
Couldn’t find my socks
8.
They let her take the Pomegranate
Pink with holy juices
Into the Mouth of the Sky
9.
Flunked Aramaic
Back in graduate school
Is it “step right” or “avoid right”?
10.
Contorted face
of Jewish hubby
far below the rising shiksa
11.
RAPTURE ACCOMPLISHED!
Bush declares --
but why are these Sunnis ascending?
12.
After the Rapture
a Moonie, a Jain, and a Jew
walk into a bar...
13.
Praise Jesus,
the levitating driver
left his title in the car!
14.
Mildred believes it. Jess doesn’t
Argument by kitchen sink
Big Sizzle beginneth
15.
For the flimsiest of reasons
He thought it was a terror attack
Once again: “Too bad, Dad, so sad.”
16.
The TV evangelist
Screwed up mighty badly
Hooker in the make-up trailer
17.
The cooking show goes fuzzy
Punching the channel changer
Person with wings at door.
18.
Disbeliever trimming his roses
What the heck
Might as well float along