Diogenes: The Art of Being a Slave

I have come to debase the coinage.


*


Of what use is a philosopher who doesn’t hurt anybody’s feelings?


*

I learned from mice how to get along: no rent, no taxes, no grocery bill.


*


The art of being a slave is to rule one’s master.


*


Before begging it is useful to practice on statues.


*


Go into any whorehouse and learn the worthlessness of the expensive.


*


After a visit to the baths, where do you go to have a wash?


*


Give up philosophy because I’m an old man?  It’s at the end of the race
that you break into a burst of speed.

Translated from the Ancient Greek by Guy Davenport